When I edit record, the recordselector will show a '*'
Can I remove/hide it? Or control it to show/hide?
Yes, you can create custom style for the RecordSelector and remove/hide the "dataChanged" ,"activeDataChanged" paths element from the template. You can find the default style for the RecordSelector here:
\Program Files (x86)\Infragistics\NetAdvantage 2010.3\WPF\DefaultStyles\DataPresenter\DataPresenterGeneric_Express.xaml
Let me know if I can be of any further help.